DOWN TIME

Life has handed me some unexpected turns. Like, I was terminated from my job. Although I am still adjusting to this, and the fact that I was terminated for things that were petty, not my fault, or were outright lies! However, I guess I can not dwell on these things--- I realize that things happen for a reason. I am able to look at this situation as a one that will teach me a lot about myself and who I want to be!! I know that the organization I worked for was neither what I was looking for professionally, nor who I wanted to be supervised by. So, like all the other bumps in my life, I have to see this as a temporary detour--- perhaps a "short cut." I just have to continue to have faith and believe not only in myself, my abilities and the bigger picture. Of course monetarily, this change has not been the ideal situation, but it'll work out. I have put in tons of applications all over and actually have an interview on Monday evening at a Chemical Dependency facility.... doing what I had done before. Although the pay is less and what not.... I'm going for the interview because I NEED to get out there in the working world soon!! This Down Time is KILLING ME! Although I've been trying to make the best of my down time--I've been writing letters like I used to like to do, I'm reading, and trying to get caught up on my homework. Let's see where life brings me--- For now, it's down time and collecting unemployment, but give me a little bit of time and who knows what will happen!!

Anticipation...

Well, Josh and I have decided to go on the adventure of looking into buying our first home together. Granted, we originally were looking in the Hudson area, we soon came to the compromise of moving to Elmwood, WI. There are TONS of houses in the Elmwood area that we thought have looked cute, but one especially grasped our attention and now we are anticipating and hoping that it's a possibility not just a dream house! We would be like 1/4 a mile from my parents and of course Miss Karlee. I love the town! Plus, we would have like 1.4 acres of land. Well, we are super duper excited that this is a possibility. We are just waiting for the bank to make its call I guess. Check out the pictures.... perhaps you will fall in love! Oh and start working up those muscles because we will need helpers for moving!!!

Boundaries and Eye Exams

Today, I woke up at 5:30am with a lot on my mind--unable to go back to sleep.

I have been a bit worried that telling someone I thought was my supervisor something a bit "personal." I told my boss that I was having troubles breathing but was not sure whether this was because of my anxiety or because of some kind of bronchial infection. Well needless to say this person immediately conversed with the supervisor; then decided that I needed to talk to this supervisor about the situation at hand. Well, before even consulting this person the word "boundaries" was thrown in my face AGAIN. I'm a bit concerned about this word of "boundaries"--I mean according to all the professional code of ethics, my training, my professional experience, and my class work self disclosure is encouraged and actually a part of this whole profession of helping people. So, with that being said, if something is appropriate and in consideration that it is acceptable. Also, can one consider a conversation with a supervisor "self-disclosure??" This makes me fear for my job--- perhaps, I'm overreacting, but it is a likelihood. But maybe it's for the best??

After a nap for a few hours, Josh and I took off to the Oak Park Heights Wal-Mart for our eye exams. I got set up with contacts. I also got a new pair of glasses--ooh eee they are super cute, colorful and make me look quite creative/artistic. I can't wait to get them--should have them by next week (I will post pictures soon). I like my contacts--- I just think they may take some getting used to.

Then I spent the remainder of the evening, hanging out with my hubby and our friend, Jason (aka "Franchise).

Overall, a pretty good day. Some worries, followed with fun and glamour. I guess with that I'm signing out! Nighty Night!

Chaos...

According to Scott Peck, "the truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."

Last night, I experienced one of my somewhat usual panic attacks. I have not experienced one of these in quite sometime. I guess it's partially because I have not been doing my self care tasks that I used to incorporate into my somewhat daily lifestyle. It could also have to deal with my somewhat recent stress that i have added onto my plate recently. I have my new job (which sometimes means longer hours), I have been debating what school to go into, and a lot more tings than I can bare. Sometimes it just takes more from me than I have been able to give.

However, I believe that I will try to find some release. I realize that I may be banking more on my decisions than I should. I realize that with whatever I decide to do, I will be able make the best of it. Also, I know I will be great.

I am new to this bloggin' thing!

Well, I'm not exactly sure on where to start... but perhaps i should just start with what's going on in my life at this point and time.
Well, I am a Recreational Therapist, and I'm actually falling in love with my job (after some previous hesitations). I have the cutest office--it's not much larger than a closet, but it's MINE and that's all that really counts! My office is my relaxation point in my life; it's mine and I can go there and do whatever I need and want to do! Sometimes I stay late at work just to catch my breath, or to just compile myself.
I have recently discovered that I'm failing to utilize my coping skills that I have found to deal with feeling anxious and depressed; so, I'm trying to get back into the "swing of things." I find myself having troubles falling asleep, but end up sleeping many hours (too many actually) into the next day!
I am fascinated by mental illnesses and I surprise myself with how many various skills and coping techniques I have been able to utilize in helping others (and myself) and to better understanding Mental illness in general.
I hae been trying to get into a social work program and have applied at Metro State, College of St. Scholastica and UWRF-- I guess I will see where I will be in the fall.
Well, I really didn't want this to be this long, but just some things that have been weighing heavy on my mind lately.